Every time I sit down to blog, I think about writing it. You know, that one post that NEEDS to be written? It is there inside you, forming, growing, developing a life of its own? I never understood writers who said they had a novel inside of them. Now I know, because I think I have one inside of me. Perhaps there are meds for that? Deep breath. OK, here goes.

Whew. I feel better. I think I just got it out.

Wait, a minute. Nope, it’s still there. Here we go again.

In June this year, we almost lost our baby boy. Sometime before he was eight weeks old, he ingested an airborne botulism spore which irreversibly bound to his intestines and started poisoning him.

Within hours one Saturday, he became paralyzed, blind and went into respiratory arrest. According to his doctors, and Wikipedia, the source of all truth and knowledge, Botulism (Botulinum toxin) is the most poisonous substance on earth. If it wasn’t for divine intervention, he wouldn’t have made it to the hospital alive.

For days it was a dark nightmare. The entire first week (out of 11 weeks we spent at Primary Children’s Hospital) was a blur. We cried. We prayed. We watched the monitors. The doctors ran test, after test, after test. After involving three separate teams of specialists, they finally were able to diagnose and treat our paralyzed little boy.

Eventually he was able to slightly move his right arm.
Then his left.
Then his feet.
And then one day, his eyelids fluttered.
It was glorious.

During the following twenty-two weeks he learned how to breathe, move, smile, drink a bottle and become a baby again.

Now, as I am writing this post, he is rolling around the carpet trying to put anything, and everything, into his mouth.

Through this nightmare, I have changed. I am still my silly, crazy, self; but there is a new sense of appreciation and gratitude that is so intense, I find myself getting choked-up almost every day. (Don’t worry, nobody knows, I blame it on my contacts.)

Life is so short. If I have learned anything, it is that each day is precious. Our time with our loved ones is invaluable. Hug your kids. Kiss your spouse. Be friends with your siblings. Call your parents. Say “I love you.” When we thought we were going to lose our baby, I wished so badly that I had spent more time cuddling him, and less time worrying about lack of sleep or a perfectly-clean house.

Christmas is upon us. While the rest of the world is scurrying around, stressed-out over finding the perfect present, my husband and I are cuddling on the couch, knowing quality time together with our children is more precious than anything we could find in a store.

Merry Christmas. I hope it is everything you want it to be. No, I hope it is more. I hope you take the time to truly enjoy this season by making memories that will last forever.