Cell Phone in the Frickin Toilet

You know you do it. Before you start defending yourself, it’s OK. Everyone does it.

I am nearly positive that everyone has surfed the web, taken a call, or conducted some business, while conducting other business at least half a dozen times.

Personality Types of John-Talkers

Some people only talk on the phone (while on the john) in the privacy of their home.

Others feel comfortable talking on the phone in any bathroom- WalMart, the airport, McDonalds, work, church, you name it!

I know a few people who are insecure about their cell-phone bathroom secret. They try to hide their bathroom sounds. Never, ever will these people flush while on the phone. Instead, they finish their conversation and flush afterward. People- I have something to tell you. You aren’t fooling us. 

It kind of makes you think twice about borrowing someone’s cell phone, doesn’t it?

In the Toilet

With all of this bathroom talk, it is bound to happen. At some point, you might just do, what we just did. Yes, it is true. Someone in my home (who shall stay unnamed) dropped their iPhone in the frickin toilet.

This is not uncommon. In fact, I did a Google search and there are 4,340,000 web pages with the phrase “cell phone in the toilet.” I am not sure if I should feel better about our predicament or worse about society.

Anyway, if this happens, what do you do? Don’t worry. We can help. Follow these steps and you will be back to talking while making nature calls again- in no time.

7 Easy Steps for Fixing Your Toilet-Drenched iPhone

1. Retrieve the phone from the toilet. Quickly. Do not stop to pull up your pants.
2. Dry the phone off on a towel, your shirt, your dropped drawers- whatever you can grab.
3. Pull up your pants.
4. Blow-dry your phone. Do this for a really long time. Curse if you need to.
5. Put your phone in a bowl of rice for 24 hours. The rice will absorb the extra water.
6. Give up on the frickin rice idea. Swear again.
7. Go to AT&T and drop hundreds of dollars on a new phone. Curse one more time.

Voilà. You are back in business. Assume your position on the throne and hold your phone REALLY tight.

Disclaimer: The individual mentioned above claims to have been walking towards the toilet with their phone, when it launched from their grasp and landed in the toilet. The individual is adamant he/she was not watering the horse with phone in hand. OK. We believe you.