Frickin Eclipse-Movie Review by FrickinMom
Posted by Lori | Posted in Frickin Blog | Posted on 14-07-2010
Tags: Bella Swan, Eclipse, Eclipse Blog, Edward and Bella, Jacob and Bella, Twilight, Twilight blog
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As any good mother would do, I recently took my 13 year-old to see Jacob, Edward and our BFF, Bella Swan, in Eclipse. This was an excellent move (and yes, I meant move, not movIE). Nothing says parental responsibility like escorting your teen to uplifting movies that encourage chastity and virtue. I am pretty sure I scored points in Heaven for this outing.
The movie is definitely better than the 2nd, but I was disappointed that they didn’t include another Edward/Bella piggy-back scene, flying up a mountain like the first. Nothing and I mean nothing can top that. It was truly magical.
However, they made up for this minor mistake by making all the vampires hotter. IMHO, this definitely helped. Instead of Edward looking like someone struggling with insomnia and allergies, he looked like a guy that hadn’t seen any sun in awhile and needed a strong prescription of Zoloft.
What can I say about Jacob? I am worried about criticizing this teen God, for fear that a 40 year-old, screaming, Mom-of-four will attack me, or bake me cookies with Ex-lax. I will unknowingly take these cookies to work where we will overload our bathroom pipes causing the entire city of Bluffdale to shut down. Pretty soon the Mayor or other city official who dissed our office Open House, will be knocking on our door demanding retribution. This would get me fired, and I love my job, so that is no good.
Instead, I will say: If you are 17 or younger (but not too young, so if you are my 13 year-old daughter, Corinne, please skip this paragraph) you are allowed to have dreams of Jacob running towards you in a field of flowers. Feel free to add a unicorn, a rainbow, and a midget, if you like.
Bella. Oh my darling, Bella. How can I help you, Sweetheart? You are a very confused young lady. I think that you need counseling, new friends, and a mother/daughter “wait until you are married,” talk. Every time you spoke, I felt like I needed to cover my daughter’s ears. Please stop. Please, please, please, stop talking.
FrickinMom’s Eclipse Movie Review:
58 minutes of Bella talking/asking/begging to do certain indoor activities with Edward
22 minutes of Vampire history
12 minutes of Edward resisting Bella
10 minutes of Edward and Jacob fighting over Bella
9 minutes of Bella kissing/hugging/loving and denying her feelings for Jacob
7 minutes of Jacob looking hot
6 minutes of Vampires fighting each other
Final Thoughts
Favorite line from the movie: Edward speaking to Bella about Jacob, “Doesn’t he own a shirt?”
Also, I would rather marry a dog than a blood-sucking, depressed creep that isn’t alive. How about you? Would you rather live forever as a member of the undead?
Related posts: Frickin Bella, Frickin New Moon
LOVED this review! You and I are friends. My favorite line? Jacob saying something to the effect of “at least I’m hotter than you.” And saying this was better than the 2nd isn’t saying much! LOL
Thanks, Emily! Definitely agree with you. That line was awesome. I died laughing when he said it.
I heart you to the moon, or shall I say, to the New Moon.
Dood… I love your gutz forever!
Honestly best review I have seen yet.
Thanks, Steph! I love you, bumpits, Snuggies and Thursgetti. This means we are sisters for eternity. Your tweets make my life complete.
Best line from Jacob…..”Survival 101″ But I would still rather be a member of the undead. Vampires rule dogs drool.
OK, Adrienne. It appears we will have to go to war.
I love our memories of playing “roll over, I’m crowded,” while singing the Sesame Street song, but I am afraid we are now mortal (or immortal) enemies.
I can’t believe I let you off work to go to that movie. Boss fail. :::shakes head:::
Nah, I don’t think it is a boss fail. If you hadn’t let me go, I would have never been able to write such a wonderful review. Boss win!
“Doesn’t he own a shirt?” — most def was the best line in the entire movie.
I loved your recap of the minutes, broken down into chunks of action/vamp history, Bella begging, etc.
A great post!!
Hi Terresa, Thanks for the comment!
I visited your website- thechocolatechipwaffle.blogspot.com and I have to say, you are the epitome of coolness. Here’s why:
1. You are a writer with hair as beautiful as a Hawaiian sunset- traits we have in common.
2. You probably read Anne of Green Gables, pretended you were her, and fell in love with Gilbert Blythe- as did I.
3. You are a librarian. Beautiful librarians remind me of the library scene in The Music Man. Although I am not a librarian, I am sure I could audition for this role and then we would have that in common, as well.
It was very interesting to read.
I want to quote your post in my blog. May I?
And you have an account on Twitter?
Thanks Annamalia!
Sure, go ahead and quote me in your blog, but please remember to source the post. The URL for that entry is: http://www.frickinmom.com/2010/07/14/frickin-eclipse-movie-review-by-frickinmom/.
Yes, I have a twitter account. My twitter name is lmgilson.
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