Frickin Dog Owners
Posted by Lori | Posted in Frickin Blog | Posted on 05-10-2010
Tags: bad dog owners, dog owners, frickin dogs
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I like dogs. I really do. I grew up with them and find them cute, sweet, and generally lovable.
What I don’t like? Dog owners. I believe there are two types of dog owners. The responsible type and the (insert curse word of your choice) type.
One of my favorite coworkers, Dan Bischoff, came to work on Friday with a crumpled-up piece of paper. The night before, he had left this note for his neighbor:
“It is 12:33 a.m. as I write this. Your dogs have been barking for 5 hours straight. And it has gotten progressively worse…”
He politely asked the owner to do something about the situation and reminded the owner that incessant barking is in violation of the HOA rules. What did the dog owner do? She crumpled up the note, threw it into the bushes and wrote back. On her note, she let him know that he was not Christ-like because he left the note. Hmmm, I guess letting your dogs bark all night is?
This is especially interesting to me, because Dan is also a dog owner. He takes his dog fishing, hiking, and makes sure the dog is happy and exercised. I have found that most dog owners are pretty patient with other dog owners. However, I am guessing last Thursday was not the only night the Bischoff family lost sleep due to dog barking. So, for Dan to finally give up and write the note, and receive the response he did (instead of an apology), made me realize: There aren’t bad dogs- just bad dog owners.
Which kind of dog owner are you? Here is a quick test to determine if you the perfect parent for your pooch.
What Kind of Dog Owner Are You?
1. Do you roll over, and put your head under your pillow while your dog barks all night? No? Good for you! Give yourself 3 points.
2. Do you pick up your doggie’s doodoo, or better yet, not let him relieve himself in your neighbor’s yard? Awesome. This one is worth 2 points.
3. Is your dog so bored during the day, that he barks through the fence at everything that moves? No, then you are stellar- 5 points for you!
4. Do you leave your doggie’s doodoo on your front lawn, creating such a stink the neighbors can smell it? No? Yay! I love you! 5 points.
5. Do you get crazy-offended when someone asks you to remove poop, or stop your dog from barking? No? Well, that means you are a grown up! Congratulations for being emotionally mature, give yourself 10 points.
How did you score?
0-10 Points: You are about as as worthless as the smelly poopie on my front lawn. Don’t be surprised if you are rewarded by a flaming paper-bag full of poop on your front porch.
10-15 Points: Not a horrible doggie owner, but you have some serious work to do. Print out this blog and read it daily while looking in the mirror and doing affirmations. “I am a good doggie parent. I will be responsible for my pooch.”
15-19 Points: You are a good doggie parent. Give yourself and your puppy a treat.
20+ Points: I love you. You should start your own blog, titled, “My dog is good and your dog takes after you.” It will get readers, I promise.
What do you think? What are your thoughts on dogs and their owners?
What a handsome man with a handsome dog in that picture.
It’s true. I found the picture in a magazine article titled, “Good Dogs and Good Dog Owners are Never Ugly.” Maybe that means that bad dog owners are never good looking.
I heard that guy is gay.
This comment is gay.
Yay! I scored a 20. . . Guess i should get started on my new dog blog.
I am not surprised, Mr. Anderson. If we ever get a dog again, I am going to pay you to train it. Then, I will pay you to train us!
My frickin husband is the bad dog owner in our family. I have 3 kitties and I love them & give them tons of attention, and food, and treats, and toys and lots of snuggles. I even let them tear up my new couches because I couldn’t bear to declaw them.
My husband on the other hand insists on having a dog. A huge DOG. We are on our 2nd St. Bernard. Will he walk it, no. Will he play with it, no. Will he bathe it, no (well maybe a couple of times a year, when I insist).
He does feed & water him, and Joe rarely barks, I think his former owner trained him on that, and since he never gets to go out of the yard, he never poops in someone’s yard, but the poor dog, he’s so bored & lonesome.
He does come in sometimes, but since he isn’t brushed regularly, he sheds like mad and he smells stinky most of the time. I’ve been tempted to find a new home for him, but I think it would end in divorce. So I slip out and play with him when I can and buy him doggie biscuits. The kids and I can’t even walk him ourselves because he is too strong & too excitable. He will take off down the street and take your arm with him. I’m afraid he would fly my 12 year old like a kite!
I just don’t get why he insists on having a frickin dog if he isn’t going to spend time with it. Grrrrr! Bad dog owner, bad, bad!
Bad, dog daddy! Bad!
We had a big dog a couple years ago- an Alaskan Husky. After dealing with shedding, torn carpet, and destroyed shoes and furniture, I was done. My husband took the dog to obedience classes and worked with her a lot, but she just needed more room to run.
I pulled the “it’s me or the dog,” card, and was really lucky he chose me! Men love their dogs.
Totally awesome post! I enjoy dogs when owned and taken care of by other people. I don’t enjoy dogs owned by me.
Me too, Emily!
I scored a 25 so I guess I’m a perfect dog owner. Nice neighbor to say “It’s not christ like…” Gag me. Control your dog or give it to someone who can.
Nice work, Adrienne. You are like Mary Poppins- practically perfect in every way.
I can’t own dogs. Maybe when we have a huge yard and my kids swear on their lives they’ll deal with the poo. Said dog will never come in the house.
Good perspective on no bad dogs, just bad dog owners. Your co-worker is much nicer than I. I would skip right to the reporting too the HOA and police. How irritating! I hope his neighbor is a FrickinMom reader.
We tried to own a dog, but I almost ended up needing Valium just to deal with the situation. An eighty-pound, energetic husky was a bad pick.
If we ever get another dog, it will need to be the size of a guinea pig. But, like you, I would prefer to have a bigger yard, first.
I scored a 20… boooyaaa! I spent countless hours, days, weeks, and months training my little furry friend to be fantabulous. It frustrates me that people don’t care enough for their animals to want them to be happy, healthy, and well cared for.
Steph, of course you did! You are basically a Goddess that can do no wrong. I must spend more time with you, so your perfection can rub off on me.
Super article Lori (not just because I got a perfect score either)! I saw something on PBS recently that said over 5 million pets a year are euthanized and that most of them were older pets that hadn’t been trained properly growing up and couldn’t be “rehabilitated”. It broke my heart – shame on you Bad Dog Owners!
Lee, that is so heartbreaking. Poor little dogs. Stupid owners.
Sounds like Dan’s neighbors and mine are related. I have now resorted to calling the cops, they are much more effective than I am at making the barking stop.
Nice. You should see the letter the lady wrote Dan. UNBELIEVABLE. I am trying to think of a word to describe it, but I don’t usually swear on my blog. So, use your imagination.
Want me to type it up in a post? Anyone interested in reading it?
Perfect score! Not that I expected any less of myself.
Thanks for good stuff