My iPhone died on Sunday. It was quite traumatic. In fact, I believe I went through all seven stages of grief.

Stage 1. Shock and Denial: At first, I kept trying to turn it on. I was in denial that it had truly died. When I couldn’t get it to turn on, I asked my husband to try. What?! An iPhone dying? NO FRICKIN WAY! This never happens.

Stage 2. Pain and Guilt: What had I done to my poor iPhone? It was working earlier that day. Is it because I had constantly cursed AT&T’s crappy network? Is it because I skipped Church on Sunday? I am SORRY!

Stage 3. Anger & Bargaining: Stupid iPhone! After all I had done for it! I protected it against the elements, kept it fully charged and THIS is how it treats me? It didn’t even say goodbye! Please iPhone- I will do ANYTHING! Please, please, please come back!

Stage 4. Depression, Rejection, Loneliness: I miss my phone. I miss texting. I miss Facebooking. I miss Tweeting. I don’t even have energy to get out of bed. How will I update the world with what I ate for lunch on Twitter? I can’t survive without you. Come BAAAAACK!

State 5. The Upward Turn: I can do this. I can live one day without an iPhone. The Apple Store is open tomorrow. I can make it!

Stage 6. Reconstruction & Working Through: What?! I have a home phone! Who knew? I didn’t know these even existed anymore. Better yet, my calls are never dropped. Between that and my laptop, I think I can survive this crisis!

Stage 7. Acceptance & Hope: I now know that it is possible to live 24 hours without an iPhone. Sure, you may lose a mayorship or two on Foursquare, but lack of a phone does not have to cause permanent depression.

Why I Heart the Apple Store

My cute husband made an appointment for me at the Genius Bar yesterday. This made me feel pretty important. I had a scheduled appointment with a genius. I think I may have “arrived.”

I show up right on time and a cute little Cortnie welcomes me, offers me a beverage and asks me if I would like to have a seat. OK, maybe I exaggerated a little there. But, she did welcome me, take down my name and told me a genius would be with me shortly. Then something magical happened! I saw my name appear on a screen. It was almost like I was watching a stand-by seat open for a free flight to Figi!

Within a few minutes, JD showed up. JD is the bomb. He asked me what was wrong with my phone. I told him that I had offended the iPhone Gods and they were punishing me. I was a little nervous because I knew my one-year warranty had expired. But he was all over it. He knew exactly what to do. He went into a magical room in the back of the store, where beautiful fairies make all Apple problems disappear, and came back with a brand new iPhone! He smiled a Mr. Wonderful-Smile and said, “Let’s just pretend it is June 1,” (the last day of my warranty). I laughed. I cried. I shouted for joy. Within minutes, I was connected again.

Life is good. Thank you, JD.

I would write more, but I have some catching up to do on Facebook, Twitter, and Foursquare.