I was busy working on a report this morning, when I received a Facebook chat from my cousin, Alisha. It wasn’t long into the conversation, when I realized that either Alisha has suffered a very serious memory loss (she called her son by the wrong name) and can no longer spell, or I was chatting with a hacker.

Knowing Alisha is pretty up on her game, I decided that it must be the latter. I have always wanted to scam a scammer, so I took this opportunity to look away from my spreadsheet and enjoy a good laugh. For your pleasure, I posted the chat below. My comments are in italics.

Please note, I did use a little language, but in order to avoid typing it here, I replaced the word with symbols. However, if four symbols referencing the scorching underworld offends you, my deepest apologies (kind of).

Alisha: hey lori How are you

10:11amMe: Hi Alisha, I am great. How are you?

10:11amAlisha: not too good.. in a deep mess as we speak!

10:12amMe: I am so sorry. what is wrong?

10:12amAlisha: We got stranded in Wales

10:12amMe: What?! That is awful. Where is Wales? The whole family is stranded? (I knew there was a Wales in Utah, but couldn’t remember where. I assumed she was discussing a Utah city, as I knew she wasn’t out-of-town.)

10:14amAlisha: yes we got mugged at gun point last night! all cash,credit cards and cell phone was stolen! Connor is missing! (Um, her son’s name is Gary. HELLO HACKER! Should have done some research!)

10:16amMe: Oh my GOSH! (Really excited that I get to play along.) Where in Wales are you?

10:24amAlisha: I need your help!!

10:24amMe: What can I do for you? Want me to drive and pick you up? Wales is only a couple hours from here. Give me your location. (After I typed this, I thought, darn it! This may have ended the conversation.)

10:27amAlisha: Wales ,England (Really?! Wales, England? Isn’t that like saying Mexico, United States? HELLO! Wales is a country! Not only does this idiot have no sense of geography; he seriously can’t type.)

10:28amMe: Oh wow! What can I possibly do to help you? I will do anything for my cute cousin! You poor, poor thing! What are you going to do about Connor? What a nightmare?! (Yes, I think I could have a career in acting.)

10:29amAlisha: Our return flight leaves in few hours but having troubles sorting out the hotel bills  The local cops are carrying out investigations about that.. right now am totally devastated! we need financial help!

10:30amMe: Just tell me how much. I will wire immediately.

10:30amAlisha: couldn’t get a hold of anyone right now really sucks .. my head is presently hurting with my pregnancy i hate to say i’m sick right now

10:31amMe: How do I send the money to you? (By now, I have two co-workers in my office with me. We are all laughing hysterically.)

10:31amAlisha: I was wondering if you could loan me some few $$ to sort out the hotel bills and take a cab to the airport

10:31amMe: Of course!

10:31amAlisha: I will definitely refund… i still have my passport you can have it wired to my name and present location via western union  Do you any WU ??

10:31amMe: Oh no, don’t worry about that! What is WU?

10:32amAlisha: Western Union Money Transfer  Do you know any store near you?

10:32amMe: No, but I can probably find one. How much do you need?

10:33amAlisha: All we need is $2000  I promise to refund tomorrow

10:33amMe: Are you sure that is all you need? We can definitely send more.

10:34amAlisha: Yes.. that’s all we need but we may need some more if you can assist (We were hoping that this yahoo was uber excited and was thinking he had scored big time. )

10:35amMe: I also have Brenda on the line. She will send money too. (I am talking to my Aunt on the phone, telling her that the real Alisha better change her password ASAP.)

10:36amAlisha: You will need my details where to wire the money but meanwhile you can look up a near by WU office from the website

10:36amMe: I have one. Send me the account information. Hurry!

10:37amAlisha: Name – Alisha Jacob Beckstrom
Location – 59 Dan y Coed Road Cardiff,
London CF23 6NE United Kingdom (Can authorities work with Western Unions to stop this activity? This is pretty good information.)

10:37amMe: Anything else? Account number? (Really hoping I could get something to nail this criminal.)

10:37amAlisha: That’s all you need to wire to me i will pick the cash up with my Passport ID  no acct needed dear (Does this mean they have a fake passport in Alisha’s name? SCARY!)

10:37amMe: OK, consider it done…  Right after @%$ freezes over, you hacker loser.

10:37amAlisha: How soon will you get it done?

10:38amMe: After I report you.

10:38amAlisha: I know u are an !@%$#%@

10:38amMe: Reporting to facebook now.

So, there you go. Frickin cyber criminals using Facebook to steal money. What losers.

According to Symantec, identity theft happens every three seconds on the internet and has surpassed illegal drug trafficking as the #1 money maker. You may want to visit Scam Free Internet, it has some good information about protecting yourself against cyber crime.

Facebook is also aware of this, and has posted this information on their site regarding money transfer scams. I recommend choosing long and difficult passwords with letters and numbers and changing your passwords often. Hopefully, we can all be safer if we take this precautions. Frickin hackers!

Graphic credit: Daily Mirror