Whenever Mother’s Day comes around, I start feeling guilty. I compare myself to the super-idealistic-fairytale-wonder-woman-mom that I believe I should be. If it wasn’t for the free flower we get in church, I wouldn’t even crawl out of bed on Mother’s Day. Instead, I would remain in hiding and eat things like chocolate candy, ice cream and brownies while faking sick.

I know I am not the only Mom that feels this way. Why are we so hard on ourselves? Why do we hold our measuring sticks so high that it is impossible to reach them? We all love our children and are doing the best we can, right?

I recently took a personality test at work. According to the results, I am a “Type A” personality. This means although you may hire me to run your company, you won’t hire me as a nanny and I will mostly-likely never be voted mother-of-the-year.

So, here’s the question. Knowing my results, should I hold myself up to an idealistic measuring stick where women dress, look, sound, and act like Mary Poppins, or should I compare myself to Hillary Clinton?

I am thinking neither.

So, what kind of mother am I? What kind of mother should I be?

In an effort to answer my own question and avoid a little depression this Sunday, I have come up with my own criteria for a good mom.

7 Tips to Achieving Frickin Super Mom Status

1. Always be nice to your kids. Unless they draw on the walls, tell you they hate you, poop their pants or fail in school. Then, anything goes. And I mean anything.

2. When you have to decide between working late or the school play, choose the play.

3. When you feel like pulling out your hair or worse, take a time out. Try not to say things like, “Mommy needs a break before she is locked up in the mental hospital, kiddos,” or “Call 911, because one of us is going to need some serious medical help.”

4. Send your kids to bed early. Their bedtime is for YOU. Sure, you can tell yourself it is because you are concerned about their health, but seriously- you need some quiet time. This will help you be a better mom.

5. Feed your kids. Cold cereal is fine.

6. When your kids are asleep, go into their room and kiss them. It’s awesome. Maybe because it is quiet… but still, it’s awesome.

7. Laugh. If you can laugh at poop in the bathtub, being covered in spit up, or the crazy-roller-coaster-mood changes of teenagers, life will be easier. After all, these kiddos really do grow up fast and our time with them is precious.

Happy Mother’s Day to all of you frickin moms!

Related posts: frickinmommyhood

Image credit: mommytracked.com

Kids are the best! Nothing makes me laugh harder than the cute expressions that come out of my four-year old. Last night, I was working in my basement office when I heard Sadie upstairs. She sounded stressed, so I ran up to the kitchen to see what was bothering her. She had her face and hands pressed up against the sliding glass door and was yelling:

“Stop Snowing! Stop Snowing!”

I asked her what was wrong, and she replied, “The snow is not listening to me and that is not very nice.”

She cracks me up. Only Sadie would think that she could control the weather. Sometimes I find us competing for the alpha female role at home, and a lot of times she wins. If you know me very well, this takes some serious effort.

One day after I came home from work, I noticed her hair looked cute. I asked her if Daddy did her hair that morning. She replied, “Yes, but he is only a boy.”

A few weeks ago, Sadie was whining because she was trying to roller-skate in our family room. (OK, before you think I am crazy, the skates have never been used outside.) She was frustrated because HER toys were in the way. I suggested that she clean them up instead of whining. Her response, “But, I am not a mom.”

She has been especially fond of Pinocchio lately, and asks to watch it on my iPhone, eight minutes at a time via youtube. This activity can keep her occupied for over an hour each viewing. (I am becoming especially fond of Pinocchio too, come to think of it!) The funny thing is, no matter how many times she watches the movie, she refers to Pinocchio as Uh-nocchio. We have told her over and over again that it is P-inocchio. Yesterday she said, “Mom, try again. It isn’t PA-nocchio, it is UH-nocchio. Say it with me- Uh-nocchio.”

Her favorite activity (next to watching Uhnocchio) is taking pictures on my iPhone. I have noticed the picture gallery growing on my phone recently. I now have over 50 pictures of her not-so-clean room (see above), 30-40 close-ups of Johnny, even more close-ups of Sadie, as well as about 10 pictures of our TV. Even as I type this post, she is busy taking pictures. So far, we have pictures of this post, her chair, the computer and the floor.

I heart her! Mommyhood is the frickin best!