Do you know what is better than Christmas? You don’t? Well, I will tell you.

(Drum roll, please.)

A NEW FRICKIN DRIVEWAY!

Richmond American is FINALLY fixing our gravel pit!

The other day I was told that I was mean. For about twenty seconds, this bothered me. Then I realized there are some real advantages to being a beeyotch. If you don’t believe me, check out urban dictionary, where it defines beeyotch as “a term of affection or an insult.” Personally, I am going to go with the affection definition.

So, all of my neighbors that are getting brand new driveways due to my meanness- you can call me a beeyotch whenever you like, and I will take it as a compliment.

I was talking to a coworker today, and he said that I am not a true beeyotch, but I can strategically pull the beeyotch card. I really liked this. That conversation was the seed that grew into the following:

Top 3 Reasons to be a Beeyotch

1. You get what you want- most of the time. If you don’t get what you want, step it up.

2. When you are called this word, it is actually a compliment- like when Lindsey Lohan uses it on the guy she likes in “Mean Girls.” So, if someone calls you a beeyotch, really they are saying they have a huge crush on you.

3. Corporations take you seriously. Aren’t I right, Richmond American?